A family plan for suspicious calls, texts, and pop-ups

If money has already been sent, contact the payment provider now through a known route and use our money-sent response guide. If someone has remote access to the computer or phone, use our tech-support-scam guide and a different trusted device for banking or account recovery.

Agree on a simple routine before an unsettling message arrives: pause, check through a separate trusted route, and contact someone you have chosen together. Make the same routine available to everyone in the family.

The aim is to give your parent useful support while respecting their control over their accounts and decisions. The reporting resources below are for the United States; readers elsewhere should use their local consumer-protection and identity-theft services.

Make it easy to ask for a second opinion

Choose a calm time to talk. Ask which calls or messages your parent finds difficult to judge and what sort of help they would welcome. You might agree: “Either of us can call the other before responding to an unexpected request.”

Choose a backup person too. Discuss how much help each person is comfortable providing. Being a contact for suspicious messages does not automatically mean getting account passwords, managing money, or monitoring someone’s inbox.

Agree on how you will respond if something has already happened. Start with “Let’s work out the next step,” rather than a lecture. The family plan below is an editorial suggestion, not a guarantee against fraud.

Pause when a message tries to rush you

The FTC describes common scam tactics including impersonating a familiar organization, inventing a problem or prize, and pressuring someone to act immediately. Caller ID can also be faked. An unexpected request deserves checking even when the displayed name looks familiar. FTC: How To Avoid a Scam.

Your family’s agreed first move might be: end the call or leave the message unanswered while you check. Do not send money or personal information simply to satisfy a deadline set by an unexpected caller.

You do not need to argue with the person or prove they are a scammer. The purpose of pausing is to give yourself space to verify the request elsewhere.

Check through a separate route

Use contact details you already trust, such as the number on your bank card or a company website you know. Avoid the number or link supplied in the suspicious message. The FTC recommends independent contact rather than relying on details provided by the sender. FTC: How To Avoid a Scam.

Before a problem arises, help your parent find their preferred official contact routes if they want assistance. Let them practice locating the information themselves. Keep a short paper card if that is easier than remembering where a contact is saved.

For a message supposedly from a relative, agree in advance how to reach that person through a known contact method. If you cannot verify the story, involve the backup person rather than accepting the sender’s pressure as proof.

Know what to do with a frightening pop-up

A warning that tells you to call a support number is a reason to stop and check. The FTC says real security warnings do not ask you to call a phone number. It also warns about fake subscription-renewal messages that use a supposed refund to lure people into granting remote computer access. Do not use the contact details in that warning or renewal notice. FTC: Tech Support Scams.

If you need help with the computer, use a support provider you independently know and trust. A family contact can help locate that route without taking over the account or engaging with the suspicious caller.

If money or information has already been shared

Contact the bank, card issuer, payment app, or other service used to send the money promptly through its official channel. Explain what happened and ask whether the payment can be reversed. Recovery is not assured. The FTC’s recovery guide has different steps for different payment methods and for exposed information or computer access. FTC: What To Do if You Were Scammed.

For a US report, use ReportFraud.ftc.gov. For suspected identity theft, follow the recovery resources linked from the FTC guide. Reporting does not replace contacting the payment provider.

Offer to sit with your parent while they contact the relevant service. Ask what help they want, and let the official recovery instructions guide the account-specific steps.

Make your family contact card

Write this down together. Store it somewhere useful and private. Do not put passwords, security answers, account numbers, or verification codes on it.

Our plan	Fill in together
First person I can contact	Name and known phone number
If they are unavailable	Backup name and known phone number
My bank’s official contact route	Where to find the number or official app
Trusted computer support	Name and independently verified contact
Our first step for unexpected requests	Pause and check through a separate route
If money was sent	Contact the payment provider promptly
When we will check this card again	Date

Try the plan with a made-up message. Ask where you would pause, how you would check it, and who you would contact. Adjust the card around whatever feels confusing.

Use IdentityTheft.gov if identity is being misused, or information-exposure steps when information was exposed but misuse is uncertain. Reporting does not itself stop a payment or secure an account.